A slogan, Your mental health, and A call to action
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Part one, A slogan.
I am excited to announce that uduforu now has a slogan! Be your story embodies the independent spirit of uduforu and promotes personal growth. I encourage a choose-your-path adventure story approach to life.
After careful consideration, I must clarify what Be your story is not. The slogan is not intended as another example of toxic positivity. Wrestling with this concern inspired me to write today’s blog.
According to Psychology Today, “Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. This may take the form of denying your own emotions or someone else denying your emotions, insisting on positive thinking instead.”
Emotions are how we process good and bad experiences. Expressing negative emotions is challenging but crucial to moving on from what caused them. It is hard to communicate negative emotions, and a listener who does not allow that expression is toxic. Positive thinking can help when coping with negative emotions but not at the expense of processing them. And someone who is in distress should not be dismissed, ignored, or silenced.
Part two, Your mental health.
There is plenty of news to inspire despair. The economy, politics, violence, and mental health are difficult words to avoid, and you may be directly affected by more than one of them. And other buzzwords on our screens and in public interactions can be triggering. Pile all that onto the heap of baggage already weighing you down, and spikes in anxiety or depression are no mystery.
I also ponder the messages in memes that inaccurately oversimplify complex problems. Our well-meaning friends and family post a perpetual barrage of toxic positivity (and negativity) on social media. And some posts are meant to be passive-aggressive at a minimum. The overuse of catchy statements is one of the reasons I am not a fan of social media. I often wonder what motivates someone to use certain memes. Is a meme posted to declare how life should be, moral superiority, or privilege? Posting this stuff does not provide context for why it is there and seems to have replaced good old-fashioned conversation. At least the posts that are meant to be inflammatory are usually obvious.
Posts about good management on LinkedIn are an excellent neutral example to use. They can have an indirect victim-blaming effect in addition to being a way to say I hate my boss. I am not defending toxic workplaces; it is unfortunate when people with authority suck at leadership. But changing jobs is not always an option. Expecting a poisonous boss, friend, or family member to become supportive is unrealistic. And adjusting one’s attitude toward an abusive environment sounds like Stockholm syndrome.
Working through trauma or addiction often requires professional help. Build a support system at the very least, and make sure you are being held accountable for your progress. Do not sink into a do better tomorrow attitude or manipulate your support people into enablers. Healing and progress need time, not excuses. Be patient with yourself and resist becoming your abuser. Resources to find a professional ear to listen to your situation are listed below in the video description and at uduforu.com in the July 2022 blog. Empower yourself.
Stress and worse are a part of life. The past has shaped who you are, but it does not have to define who you are. Work to change for the better if you are unhappy. It does not matter if you want to correct mistakes you have made or react differently to events in hindsight. That you have learned a lesson from a situation and want to grow beyond it takes humility and courage. You decide who you want to be and show who you are with your decisions moving forward. It will take practice and dedication to remain true to yourself and stay on a path of positive transformation. You do not have to wear your heart on your sleeve or even let anyone know what you are doing. Share what you want to. Finding a balanced way to express yourself is a process of fine-tuning.
Part three, A call to action.
Choose-your-path adventure stories have consequences for decisions. This is real life, so choose not to be a terrible human, and you should be OK. It is also Ok to decide to ask for help.
Family and friends should reach out to a loved one if they suspect that person is in distress. Ask that person how they are and be prepared to listen, care, and advocate for their health and safety.
Professional resources are listed below in the video description and at uduforu.com in the July 2022 blog. If you are unsure how to help someone, it is OK for you to get help.
Now for good news! You do not need to be unhappy to make changes. It is best to choose what you want in your life instead of reacting to what happens to you. Learn a new skill, hobby, or exercise more. Try things out and keep doing what works for you. Be your story.
Articles to help identify and correct toxic positivity courtesy of Psychology Today:
Toxic Positivity
There’s Nothing Positive About Toxic Positivity
How Positivity Can Turn Toxic
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/202201/how-positivity-can-turn-toxic
Resources for outreach:
The list below includes top-tier USA national organizations but is not exhaustive. Check your local listings for help closer to home or search online for specific needs.
For anyone (but has a focus on younger people):
https://www.activeminds.org/blog/what-really-happens-when-you-reach-out-to-crisis-lines/
Crisis Text Line (text BRAVE to 741741)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 – Starting July 16, 2022, you can dial 988 instead.
The Trevor Lifeline for LGBTQ Youth: call 1-866-488-7386
The Trans Lifeline: call 1-877-565-8860
For anyone:
National Alliance on Mental Illness.
Call the NAMI Helpline at 800-950-6264 or chat with us M-F, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET.
In a crisis, text "NAMI" to 741741 for 24/7, confidential, free crisis counseling.
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. 1-800-662-4357
SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.
https://www.211.org/get-help/mental-health
Whether you are looking for help for yourself, worried about someone else, or looking to partner with 211, start here to learn more about available mental health and substance use resources and services.
Always call 911 first if you or someone you love is experiencing a life-threatening medical emergency or may be a danger to someone else.
Call 211 if you need assistance locating long-term mental health resources, talking through a problem, or exploring mental health treatment options. Call 211 to speak with a live person who can help.
- 211 conversations are confidential, can be made anonymously, and are available in 180 languages upon request.
- If you prefer to text, use web chat, or search for resources online, click here to find more ways to contact your local 211.
Other Mental Health Hotlines
You can always call 211 to speak to someone and find local assistance, but there are also dedicated helplines available to anyone in the U.S.
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 – Starting July 16, 2022, you can dial 988 instead.
- Veterans Crisis Line: call 1-800-273-8255 and press 1, or text 838255
- Crisis Text Line: text the word 'Home' to 741741
- The Trevor Lifeline for LGBTQ Youth: call 1-866-488-7386
- The Trans Lifeline: call 1-877-565-8860
https://www.rainn.org/resources
National Sexual Assault Hotline: Confidential 24/7 Support
Call 800-656-4673 or chat online at: https://online.rainn.org
RAINN is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.
- The RAINN website also has resources for Domestic Abuse, Street Harassment, and more.
- DoD Safe Helpline: a service for members of the U.S. military and their families, operated by RAINN for the Department of Defense
- Online chat hotline
- Telephone hotline: 877.995.5247