I celebrate Holidays alone or on a different day!

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        I celebrate the Holidays I love without guilt, overspending, a hangover, and sometimes without company. And I often do not celebrate Holidays on the actual Holiday day. My family is scattered from Vermont, Florida, California, and places in between. My friends have changed, moved, have plans, or work. Drinking became too routine for many years for many reasons, so I also no longer imbibe. So when, with whom, how, and why do I celebrate?

        For most of my life, I had to explain to some family members that I had to work on Holidays because the restaurant was open. The inability of some to comprehend that they are the busiest days of the year and provide a chunk of my income was frustrating. My patience in repeating the same information to the same people diminished over decades. No one has asked in a while, so I hope they have accepted my answers or given up bothering me. I love my family and want to spend time with them, but it can’t be on a Holiday. The guilt of not spending Holidays with family and knowing they were together without me hurt. During the years that I was socially isolated and without a mate, the depression it sparked was palpable. FYI for everyone’s family – You may not realize you are nagging, but it is not a loving behavior. Listen, remember, and respect the answers of the person you nag.

        I am 50 years old, and my priorities have changed. Not having social options no longer stings, and I prefer solitude anyway, especially now that I have writing and design work to improve. My life experiences have taught me to appreciate what is real and practical and to discard harmful influences. Drinking was a constant companion and was the second most complex behavior for me to stop – smoking was the first. But bad habits come in all forms, and negative thinking is still challenging. Social isolation aided me in overcoming physical addictions, but I know that is not the best plan for everyone. A lot of pain and anguish molded me before my journey of self-discovery. After learning to let go of baggage and to adjust my preconceptions, I am a better thinker. Use the link at the bottom of this article or the video description if you are in distress and need professional help or information to assist someone you know without nagging.

        My favorite Holidays are Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. I used to dress up and go out for Halloween, but I now stay in with treats and watch a spooky movie. Thanksgiving and Christmas contribute the most joy and mental distress. When alone, I made some comfort foods for Thanksgiving and decorated my place for Christmas. The warm fuzzy comfort feels that wraps my mind like a cozy blanket still find me in the soft glow of decorative lights. A drive to see decorations is nice too. I am thankful for what I have. Though I may not have enough to give, I share what I can.

        In general, I celebrate the same as everyone but without alcohol. I am OK with others drinking, and I accept that they may not be able to understand why I do not. I also do not waste time trying to explain. It interrupts the occasion and brings the room down. If I am out, I am there for the people, scenery, and atmosphere. And maybe I’ll remember to take some pictures with people in them.

        All days of the year should retain the message and tone of a Holiday, just as you should not reserve morals for one day of prayer. And being open to celebrating on a flexible schedule reduces stress for everyone. Remember the occasion you are observing but most importantly, celebrate life and being together. If you are alone, do not despair. Celebrate the Holidays you love anyway. Decorate, shake up your routine to include festive things, and host yourself for the occasion. The comfort and joy you yearn for will find you.

If you are in distress and need professional help or information to assist someone you know without nagging. Link to read or download the Mental Health Resources PDF, a free PDF, in the downloads tab at uduforu.com.