Self-sabotage and Conditional Goals

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        I decided to pause doing another Writing a book and Kindle Direct Publishing post and instead talk about something that impacts the advancement of all goals. It is crucial to mention so that you know to evaluate if your mind is creating roadblocks. I constantly struggle with today’s topic, so do not get the impression I have mastered it. And I apologize if I sound patronizing. But as when I trained people in hospitality, “I need to say it to say I have said it” is a phrase I often used.

        In addition, I bought a new computer and setting it up shortened my time for putting together this month’s post. I love the new machine but getting it configured for my stuff reminded me of a conditional goal situation. I needed to get my tech where I wanted it to be, but I had to question if my obsessive nature was delaying work. I decided the answer was yes and no. The computer, gear, apps, and backups I use do not set themselves up, and I needed to troubleshoot issues. Doing the work myself is an aspect of what uduforu is about. And I needed to get my new tech sorted before concentrating on writing.

So, today’s topic is Self-sabotage and Conditional Goals.

        One of the ways I sabotage a goal is to set conditions for advancement. You know how it works – I must do this before I can do that. This reasoning seems sound. I do not want to fail because I am unprepared. But sometimes, it is a way to justify procrastination. Fear, overthinking, complacency, mismanaged time – any number of reasons prevent me from achieving the goal. I know my mindset is the problem because there is guilt, and the longer I delay, the goal seems more difficult.

Let us walk through a scenario:

        I need to clean. I need to do something before I clean. I am busy, so I will clean later. I feel bad about myself because I know I should clean but do not. I deserve to live in filth. Repeat until the thought process is self-fulfilling.

Now to break the scenario down:

        Procrastination leads to accepting a condition that prevents cleaning and creates self-loathing. I let the ability to clean fall off the options list and surrendered control of the situation. The only way to gain back control is to clean. Maybe clean a little now and more later until the cleaning is done. This viewpoint is common to hear. So why is it so difficult?

As a former smoker, let me substitute words:

        I need to quit smoking. I need to do something before I quit smoking. I am addicted to smoking, so I will quit smoking later. I feel bad about myself because I know I should quit smoking but do not. I deserve to be a smoker. Repeat until the thought process is self-fulfilling.

        In this scenario, the difficulty of breaking the cycle is more understandable because of an addiction. But the goal is possible with effort and might require professional help. Try substituting words that apply to your situation.

        Obstacles are often our own making, so empower yourself to remove them. Avoid setting unnecessary conditions to pursue a goal. Do not let something that cannot make its own decisions make decisions for you. It does not matter if the situation is trivial, dire, or external forces contribute to the blockade. Get help if health and safety are a concern, though. We all get stuck on something, but it does not have to be an end. Working on a challenging goal may inspire alternate paths or reveal a better goal. The solution can also be as simple as taking a break or doing the task. Whatever the case, the strength and resolve to succeed are within you.