Stress, goals, and uduforu

        I started the uduforu blog in March 2021. It is evolving, and I was delighted to launch the vlog in October. With a name like uduforu, I want to include a positive brand message. The name is inspired by self-sufficiency, so I puzzled over what I could share to help others.

        In researching self-empowerment, I discovered a self-help industry tailored for individual tastes – religious, new-age, philosophical, psychological, and more. But I do not want to be preachy, portray myself as a guru, or risk oversimplifying complex issues. While I hope to be helpful, I do not have the credentials to heal minds. I am a humble writer, and I have personal stories about reducing stress and pursuing goals.

        The source of stress can be external or self-created. Some self-help perspectives treat stress as the inability or unwillingness to react differently to a situation. It is true that how you respond has an influence. But nobody needs more self-doubt, and it does not change the fact that there is a problem. Rather than diminish the validity of the alarm, I prefer to acknowledge it and work to disarm its trigger. Burying feelings is not a healthy coping strategy. Neither is accepting that the situation should be a part of everyday life. Instead, strive to remove emotions and analyze what is triggering the stress. Knowing how to prevent the trigger or situation is best.

        It is a luxury to speak when safe from the suffering in the news. The same is true when dealing with personal hardship. Sometimes shock causes a new behavior pattern or delays reaction. But do not let emotions steer you into a destructive path. Instead, use perspective to compare, measure, and guide an appropriate response.

        For example, I was in a deteriorating marriage, and my emotional support was my cat. Then within two weeks, my cat dies, the marriage implodes, and we have to sell the house. Also, I have a new job and now need a place to live. The stress ballooned. The new job requires many hours, and the property must be kept enticing for buyers. I reduce my stuff to fit in a one-bedroom apartment, and when I cannot maintain expenses, I downsize to rent a room. My mind did not improve as the setbacks and losses cascaded. In addition, I was socially isolated due to several factors. I felt lost and strangely unemotional because too much transpired so quickly. Finally, the question, “Do I proceed?” presented itself, and I am here because I chose to answer yes.

        The perspectives I gained during two years of constant adaptation redefined my outlook on life. While others had it worse, my situation was not trivial. I should have sought professional help, but rational thinking is a challenge when immersed in an emotional crisis. Whatever your situation, if you have a problem doing nothing is not a solution. Ask, “How do I proceed?” and then make lists, prioritize, act, and ask for help if you need it. This strategy helps reduce stress and pursue goals, and in future posts, I will discuss related scenarios and tactics.

        In the meantime, contemplate my Down Town Haiku. The collection is available as a free download at uduforu.com and as a video playlist on YouTube. Writing the haiku helped me through the example period. Or consider something you can do to reduce stress and sharpen your mind. In general, all you need is a desire to change. Ideally, you set goals, not a disaster.